


The Dare

by flyingnightwing



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Bets, Comedy, Gen, Humor, Shenanigans, Swearing, batfam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-14 20:41:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29302092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flyingnightwing/pseuds/flyingnightwing
Summary: What happens when the batkids get bored at Bruce’s galas?
Relationships: Batfamily/Batsis!Reader, Batfamily/Reader, Bruce Wayne/Reader, Damian Wayne/Reader, Dick Grayson/Reader, Jason Todd/Reader, Tim Drake/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 65





	The Dare

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a little bit of fun, enjoy!

“I dare you to do it”

You raised an eyebrow and looked up at Jason, seeing the clear challenge in his eyes. The rest of your brothers had the same expression, sniggering at the dare they had thrown your way. The Wayne family unfortunately had to be present at all of Bruce’s galas and parties, but you would always find a way to entertain yourselves despite being stuck with the most boring people ever. Lately, you had been on a sequence of quoting as much ridiculous vines as possible while talking to the elite of Gotham. Memorable moments included notably when Tim pointed at the doves at the Peace Memoriam inauguration and yelled “Look at all those chickens”, as well as when Dick eloquently said “I’m a bad bitch you can’t kill me” in Gordon’s face while recounting a made up detective story. That’s when you found out he was immune to your nonsense, having gone through it all already with Babs.

“Sure” You shrugged. 

“And it’s gotta be said straight faced, when he’s around people, Gordon doesn’t count as always” He added. “Gotta be talking with at least three witnesses or I’m calling it offsides”

“You think I won’t do it?” You replied, chin high. You were _always_ game.

“I know you won’t do it” He teased. “I’m so sure, I’m betting 350$ cash and doing a month of your chores on it”

“Oh, I am definitely doing it now” You laughed at his attempts to make you quit. 

“No way, you know you’ll be forever grounded if you do” Dick scoffed, crossing his arms and glancing at Bruce, who was seemingly having a pleasant conversation with some donor or something. “300$ and two months of chores you’ll chicken out and back down last second”

“Okay, okay” You nodded. “Anyone else wants to bet against my odds?”

“Sorry, I don’t think you’ll go through with it” Tim smiled sheepishly. “150 and three months”

“Dami?” You faced your younger brother.

“Oh leave me out of this” He rolled his eyes, disinterested. “I’m not risking getting in trouble for any of you”

“Alright so that’s a bet on you from the Demon” Jason concluded, clasping his hands together. “Now, showtime!”

You raised your nose at his evil grin and sniffed. “Just watch me”

You walked confidently toward your adoptive father, taking deep breaths so you wouldn’t seem off. _You would get in so much trouble for this_ , it was all that echoed in your head. But at the same time, it was a small price to pay to prove once and for all your superiority to your brothers. You glanced behind you to see that they all had their attention on you, arrogant smirks on their faces, watching carefully for the moment you’d back down. They were in for a surprise, that’s for sure.

“Father” You smiled at Bruce when you came up to him, interrupting the conversation he was having. It didn’t seem that important anyway, with the way he twirled his whiskey and rested his hand in his pocket. _He was barely listening._ You made sure to count your witnesses; the Prescotts, a man with greying hair and one other with thick glasses and untailored suit. _Four of them, bingo._

“Hey, is everything alright?” He asked, making a gesture at his conversation partners to excuse him of a moment. Okay, maybe you did look a bit off.

“I… Have something to tell you” You said, taking one last deep breath. Yup, this was it, the last nail on your coffin.

Bruce nodded, a crease forming in his eyebrows. You knew he was now suspecting something, with good reasons. He would be a fool not to, especially when his most mischievous kid was behaving weird. He had learned that lesson the hard way, but no previous experience would have ever prepared him for your next words. Making sure all five people could hear you–not that it was hard since they were all listening intensely already–you ripped the bandaid straight up. _Here goes nothing._

**“I put a whole bag of jellybeans up my ass”**

You could have sworn you’ve never seen anyone go from confusion to horror so quickly. It was like he was frozen in place, unable to form any type of thought in answer to that. You glanced quickly at the four other people, seeing them sporting the exact same expression. You cleared your throat and forced a smile again.

“Anyway, good talk” You said quickly before spinning around and speed walking back to the boys.

They were all gaping at you like fishes, beside Damian who was _still_ uninterested. Of course all of them could read lips, so they knew you had done it. And even if they didn’t, Bruce’s expression was pretty self explanatory. 

“I…” Dick trailed off, still trying to process the fact that you walked up to the richest man in Gotham, whom was also you father, and told him where everyone could hear that _you put a whole bag of jellybeans up your ass._ They wouldn’t know it was from a vine either, which made it even wilder to him.

“I believe I owe you an apology, you madwoman” Tim said, visibly impressed “But you are also, might I say, dead. The second this party’s over”

“Worth it” You grinned, still replaying Bruce’s expression in loops when he realized what you had said. _Man, if you could have taken a picture of that._

“Grounded forever” Dick repeated in a whisper, shaking his head. 

“Ah, yes, but” You glanced at Jason, who hadn’t said anything yet. You wiggled your eyebrows at him and took a step forward. “I believe I’m owed, what was it again, 350 bucks and a month of chores from you” 

You faced Dick. “300 and TWO months from Richard”

Then finally, Tim. “And 150 plus three months from you, Timothy. So that makes, wait, let me calculate, ah yes, 800 bucks and six months free of chores”

“Yeah, you better take that to buy a new identity and move to Russia, because Bruce is gonna kill you” Jason finally spoke up, scoffing in disbelief before a grin slowly crept up his face. “You’re fucking crazy you know that? Sayin’ that to Bruce fucking Wayne, you gotta have steel balls”

“Thank you” You smirked proudly, grabbing an hors-d’oeuvre from a passing tray and popping it into your mouth. You glanced at Bruce behind you, who looked like he was trying to explain your behaviour but not succeeding. His neck was red, and his movements awkward. _Definitely death penalty for you._ “But I’ve got one for you to save you ego, Jay Bird”

“… I’m listening” He hummed, leaning slightly forward.

“It’s simple really” Your grin widened in mischief. “Picture this: Selina and Barbecue sauce on my tiddies”

—

[(For those who don’t know this iconic piece of work, here’s the vine)](https://href.li/?https://youtu.be/1OsnGOuVwMk)


End file.
